For me there are vital ingredients needed for a successful recipe (and not necessarily in this order):-
- Remain true to you. Your voice and how you use it is the most important advocate for what you do. If you try to be someone else then you are bound to get it wrong. You can emulate, be inspired by other people but when you try to copy them then things will start to fall apart because you are not them.
- Protect your integrity. Not every rant, argument, and debate needs you to think that the world will fall apart if you don’t get stuck in there to put the world to rights. If anything you are in danger of coming across as a grumpy old hag or tyrant who has no patience or tolerance for anyone or anything. Remember that the first time that someone comes across your comments, discussions and contributions may be the last – and what kind of lasting impact will your words have on them?
- Analyse your measures – quantity vs. quality. How many of your contacts become friends/colleagues and how many become really valuable? After time and trial and error, I can assess my contacts and work out how many have a part to play and how valuable that part is. If out of 800 contacts, 80 become regular communicators out of which I may do business with 8 then I know that to get business with 20 people I either need to increase my network to 2000 or increase the value in the relationships.
- Be organic – Write words carefully but don’t be too afraid to get it wrong. Be clear about what you want to say, what you want to achieve. If you find that you haven’t got it completely right – don’t be afraid to go back , correct, edit, change or add information.
- Keep a real and tangible focus on the desired outcome – you can still welcome the masses but give the special attention to the ones that you can instantly see will be a part of the journey to your goal- remain polite to the rest – you will never know when they might come in handy.
- Listen to everyone but don’t give time & energy when you haven’t got it to give. Ask yourself do they take you away from what you really want to achieve?
- A promise means nothing until it is delivered. When people look promising, make promises, or we perceive that they have made promises to us in helping us achieve great things we must remember that we can easily be dazzled and seduced by the golden apple dangling in front of us but are all flattering relationships of real value? It doesn’t mean to say however that in time many people can come up with surprising results.
- Keep it real. Interpret every relationship at face value – don’t bank on something that is not there! Read things carefully to make sure that you have not jumped to the wrong conclusions.
- Be Human – and not too judgemental. People sometimes forget that they are out of context too so it is easy for vital bits of information to be left out. We can appear to lose the plot from time to time – so if you think that the contact has value for you – be patient, ask questions, point things out, don’t judge or condemn them.
- Treat everyone with respect – EVERYONE has value – regardless of their perceived credibility. You can NEVER tell who you are talking to unless you have met them in person, worked with them and or known them in the real world for a respectable amount of time you cannot guarantee that your assessment of them is accurate. Even the negative ones will help to sculpt and define what you want and don’t want to be involved with.
- Remember why you are here. Connections which lead to acquaintances which lead to friends, partners, colleagues, customers, collaborators, and teachers. All contribute to our existence but what exactly do you need and want – and how are you getting this message across?
- Use the carrot – not the whip. Contacts like to be invited, inspired and gently coaxed into trusting you. If you get too pushy, or try to drag people to do what you want – then you will get zapped from their network, ignored, or worse still they will make a complaint against you.
- Just because someone is good or bad for someone else does not mean that they are good or bad for you. Get into the habit of assessing each contact according your measure of merit not someone else’s regardless of how similar you think you are.
- Comments and contributions on other peoples clubs and blogs have amazing value If time is limited find more than one reason to get involved in a discussion or debate. My response to this one for example will become an article in its own right – William Buist’s blog on Ecademy has been the catalyst for something that I need to publish on my own websites. So my contribution here is justified by having a multiple purpose.
- Think like you’re on camera! – Never forget to smile. .Try reading a post in different moods and you will soon see that the writer can very easily come across as grumpy, on drugs, or full of wit and humour. Readers cannot see your face to know what was intended – so use the smileys to convey the mood of what you are saying.
Gettit?
